Summer of Taco (tm) kick off

Introducing The Summer of Taco from Chattarati on Vimeo.

This summer, Chattarati is setting out to do something completely unheard of in the annals of Chattanooga history. Epic in its scope, eternal in its consequences, we call it The Summer of Taco™.

Over the course of three months, we’ll dispatch hundreds of tortillas and Dos Equis, not to mention thousands of gratuitously awarded™ symbols, all in the service of a very noble cause, we think.

We want to find Chattanooga’s best taco, and we want you to help us.

video courtesy the fine folks at Chattarati.com with assistance from Donald Sayers.

yes, it is me on the the preiview image. no, I was not drugged, just euphoric from taco bliss.

Whiny little frogs

I'll be the first to admit that I am sick and tired of professional athletes 'retiring' for a year or two then returning to the sport. But the french cycling press and authorities are behaving like little children. They are singling out their favorite texan bad-ass, Lance Armstrong, not for failing a doping test but because he questioned the credentials of the tester. Imagine you get pulled over by an unmarked police vehicle and ask to see the officers badge. Lance didn't refuse, he just asked for verification before he gave this stranger his blood or urine. But because Lance has kicked so much ass in the cycling world French authorities are now threatening his eligibility to race in the upcoming Tour De France (which Lance has won 7 times.)

MIA

I would apologize for neglecting the site, but its been busy, deal. Not to much to say other than trying to come up with 'professional' banter is a heck of a lot harder than going on a tirade about what ever happens to piss you off today. That being said, maybe by being more attentive here, inspiration will strike for other projects.

Chief Cooper has finally crossed the line.
http://chattarati.com/2009/03/03/chief-cooper-tells-sergeants-not-to-communicate-with-robert-t-nash/
As a citizen I am demanding (formal letters will become soon ladies & gentleman) that the Mayor & city council investigate the accusations against the Chief. He has been accused of specific actions that are easily verified or proven false. What ever the case is, and now that Littlefield has won his re-election, I will be surprised if we don't hear of Cooper's upcoming retirement/resignation. Actually this memo answers a lot of questions concerning Det. Freeman and raises some disturbing questions in my mind concerning the case of Officer Jeannie Snyder. How is it that this memo went to apparently multiple parties back in Feb. but we are just now hearing about it in April. And only because of a pissed off radio show host. RTN, I never listen to the radio anymore so I can't say I'm a fan or anything but I hope you tear someone a new a**hole over this mess.

ARGHHH. writers block

Here it is my first opportunity to write and be read by the general public & what do I get? Writer's block. Never have had a problem before to write but now everything seems to petty or not relevant enough to work up into a piece. I keep looking for that one thing that will break the flood gates and get my verbal diarhea flowing again. I'm trying anything at this point. Here I am ready to run but no where to go. Every idea I have seems trite & over-done.

btw: my latest tattoo pic, enjoy

Newest INK

With Saturday, comes sweet sweet catharsis. Stopped by Sacred Ink which just opened last week over on Market st. Located just north of the bridge across from the horrendously expensive bridgeview condos. The place is headed by Tom DePriest, check out his site tomdepriest.com for some examples of his work. I walked in off the street and in under 5 minutes he had free-handed a bad-ass, new skool skull & cross-bones (like from a poison warning.) This thing was slick! Sadly he was booked for the rest of the evening but he passed me over to Josh. Let me say I was a little unsure, Tom has a rep., but I looked thru Josh's book and liked what I saw. I also was able to talk to him for a bit between sessions and learned he has an impressive art background. He took Tom's sketch, lined it out & made a few alterations at my request, and went to work. Any doubts I had went out the window after about 15 mins. Some of the prettiest line work I've ever seen, definitely the best on my person. He told be 45 mins to an hour at first, but it turned out to be closer to 1.5, due to the extensive shading work. I can't stop pulling up my sleeze today to look at it. I hate that I have to cover it at work. This is some great art work. As if that wasn't enough, combined with a very welcoming 'professional' service atmosphere Sacred Heart just won my business for the near future. Can't wait for this to heal up so I can go back for some larger pieces.


BTW: this place has NO flash on the walls, almost all their work is custom. They are still in the process of completeing work on the shop itself. But even after they are done, word is still no flash pages. I might have to donate some art of mine, see if they'll display it. Sort of hoping for some vicious sculptures and art. Something to inspire/scare some of the random johnnies that walk in off the street.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and just tell you to check it out.

Stop by,
say hi,

stay around,
sit down,

no pain,
no gain.

Lost in the numbers

Someone please explain this to me. When the school board voted to renew/extend Scales contract, I lost count of the number of times he or one of his cronies mentioned the increasing graduation rate under his watch.

'“Dr. Scales believes in providing a quality education for all children and works diligently toward that goal. Our student scores continue to improve, our dropout rate is going down and we are graduating more students,” Vice Chairman Wilson said in the memo. ' courtesy of chattanoogan.com, 'Wilson Asks New 4-Year Term For Dr. Scales posted June 4, 2008'

Now today on the chattanoogan.com, we here the judges giving a different view. Our (hamilton county) graduation rate is about 10% lower than the state average. So if our current situaiton is so dismal, what was it a year or 2 ago? Look at the chattanoogan.com opinion page for a new post from yours truly asking for an explanation.

Hump day smiles

after getting worked up way to early, I decided I needed something fun. Hope you enjoyed today's 'heroes'

The web of local politics

I have had my eyes opened recently by an individual (who appears to be trying to taunt or ridicule me but whatever) who thinks that Hamilton county & Chattanooga city are not influenced by one another. These 2 local government entities work hand in hand EVERY single day. To think that the actions of one aren't affected or influenced by the decisions of the other is naive to say the least. Now I'm not saying the county is just a front for the city's agenda (or vice versa) but when 2 groups work in the same area on the same issues and with the same citizens, overlap is inevitable. I truly hoped that there weren't people this ignorant still running their mouths but apparently they are still out there and still as ridiculous as ever.

2 quick points:

-No question, that is asked with honest intent to learn, is ever a waste of air. (i hope you don't take this tone with children who are trying to learn)

-What's more the job of mayor is constantly in flux. There is no day-to-day job plan. What plan could account for a recession, local crime and any natural disaster that might occur. These are all things that the mayor must be ready to deal with on the spot. What could we possibly learn about a person by asking his morning routine? But I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, so let's examine a generic work day for a gov't bureaucrat or elected official. They arrive at work at 8 am, have a cup of coffee before the morning meeting, goes to lunch, answers citizens questions (we wish politicians did this), or whatever job function they get paid to do, until time to go play a round of golf, followed by happy hour at the 19th hole and then a council meeting to close the day.

So instead of asking a question that actually tells me about the person and their values, it is this person's opinion that I should ask fluff questions so that hard answers that lead to the possibility of accountability can be avoided. Both candidates are spouting education enhancements on their platforms, so their opinions on school board business is definitely not a waste of time or of the air we breathe.

btw: the reason I posted this here instead of chattarati is that this is a bit wordy for a comment box.

Maybe we should send him after pro athletes next?

Well suffice to say Obama has thoroughly angered a lot of executive types through out the nation. His proposed salary limit has so-called business analyst running scared. No sooner did he express his intent to follow up on his campaign promise to limit compensation ( to a paltry $500,000) for executives in companies that receive bail out funds, than the 'experts' start crying about losing top talent to other firms. If these executives were actually top talent then their companies wouldn't be receiving TARP funds in the first place. If the limit causes an exodus in old-hands then so be it. Get some young blood (fresh out of college, go getter who sees half a million as one heck of a pay check) in there to try and breath fresh life into the business. Hopefully by the time they become the old hands the company won't be pulling an Oliver Twist at the Federal government's doorstep.

$21 million shove

Wow, as a skinny, pale 'nerd' I should be living high on the hog for all the shoving i received as a child. Don't get me wrong, I agree with the greeter suing the shit out of Det. Freeman, but 21 million?

And am I the only one who thinks that it looks like the attorney has been building a case against the CPD for a while now, and has just been waiting on the proper plaintiff & circumstance's. Flores obviously been collecting a record of CPD's leniency and inconsistent behavior concerning officer incidents. I hope barring all the politics that are sure to come out during the trial, that the greeter is able to get restitution for this incident. Not 21 million but enough.

Wamp doesn't disappoint

Let's hear it for Corker. The sorry s.o.b. is actually living up to his republicrat ideals and calling out Wamp for ear-marking $25 million for the TVA ash clean-up. Wamp's reasoning, he doesn't believe TVA customers should pay for the clean up. Instead he wants EVERY citizen to share in the costs. So let's make that clear, under his proposal our fellow citizens, nationwide, will share the cost. We (TVA customers) won't get away from it, we'll just force a portion of it onto our fellow citizens. THIS IS AS HYPOCRITICAL AS ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN COME FROM WAMP. Yet another reason I will do whatever I can to ensure he does not become our next governor.

the daily commute

Please, please Chattanooga learn to freakin' drive. It seems like people get behind the wheel and lose all perspective. People are impatient, distracted, rude and all to often dangerous. I hear complaints all the time about traffic but, after 2 years in Orlando, it takes a lot more than a little whining to touch a nerve. What really gets my attention are the crazed soccer moms and professional shoppers. I have to control myself, especially when I see one of them going down the road, applying make-up, talking on the phone, while trying to drink there coffee and puff on a cig. I tried to take a picture this morning as proof but realized that would be hypocritical if I took photos on my phone while driving. Suffice to say left hand held both coffee and cigarette, while draped over steering wheel. In crook of left shoulder & ear was her cell phone. Vanity mirror flipped down with lights shining, face stretched to within inches of mirror while with her right hand she attempted to apply something to her eyes. While driving down ashland terrace, thru red bank, up morrison springs and onto 27, she continued this process. As she reached the top on the ramp she hit the gas and took off. Now I was going 70 (5 over) & she blew around me like a bolt. And what was she driving you ask? A brand new lexus suv, still had the dealership temp tag.

I have lived & worked in two much larger cities than Chattanooga, specifically Nashville & Orlando. Both have their own problems but most of those can be directly attributed to population. But what is funny is that in both towns people seemed to adapt to the local traffic patterns and we all move along. The only time I ever got nervous on the road was when I saw a fully loaded-down tourist mini-van or suv. Inevitably they would be in the wrong lane or almost miss their exit, then at the last minute STOP in the middle of the road & turn on their blinker or try to dash across 4 lanes at once. Now especially on the highways (the I-4 parking lot & the 408), it was even considered briefly to ticket anyone in the inside lane for not doing at least the speed limit. If you were in the fast lane you went 10 over, PERIOD. You did not pass on the right, EVER. With 99% of the population following these simple guide lines, a populace many times larger than Chatt & our outlying communities was able to get to work each day. Not to say there were no problems but back ups, detours, accidents, bad weather, ... all were accepted and people moved on. You learned to be a responsible driver, you listened to traffic reports & choose your routes accordingly. That's probably why radio in Orlando was such big business, because so much of the population listened daily. Little shit rolled off your shoulders, and everyone sanity was maintained.

So with my bitching out of the way I give you my rules for the road:

1. Inside lane = at least 5 mph over the limit*

2. Cell phones are only to be used with hands-free devices (outlawing entirely is a joke)

3. NEVER pass on right

4. If you are not going to at least do the speed limit, stay off interstates and highways.*

5. NO MULTI-TASKING

6. Blinkers aren't the law everywhere but they are polite, use them!

*~ except in bad weather

And my personal rule of thumb never more than 5 mph over or under the speed limit.* I chose to follow this rule for a couple reasons. Most importantly I don't like cops, nothing personal I just don't need a ticket or any other extra expense right now. My preference is never to break more than one law at a time and if I speed, well that just draws more attention to me than I like. Also because by limiting my speed I conserve gas. Not a lot I'm sure but I do get a few extra miles out of a tank if I control the ball bearing in my right ankle. And by limiting my speed I have a firm frame of reference as to how long trips take. If I know my speed then the only other variables are distance and traffic. Both of with can be measured and anticapated. Not exactly but you learn how to compare rush hour to morning drive.

Back with a Vengeance

Superintendent Scales showed uncanny reasoning and prowess when he elegantly stated that the new HCSB (Hamilton county school board) budget process would be rife with politics. Well no shit Sherlock. Since when has any spending of public funds not been political. Just because of a few elections in 2010, doesn't change the fact that the HCDE budget (or lack there-of) is a mess. I'm just loving this budget committee fiasco that has been formed. The Board already knows that it must make cuts. But because they are a bunch of pantie wastes, instead of doing the job they were elected to do they appoint a committee of 'private' citizens to suggest the cuts and ultimately take the blame for making the tough choices.
Let's look at our time scopes into the near future. The budget committee (BC) has presented the budget with x school closings and x layoffs. They'll go before the cameras & microphones, tell a weepy story of tough choices made in our children' best interests. Then election time rolls around and the HCSB lays all the blame for the cuts and out of work teachers squarely on the committee's shoulders. Never mind that the mess is one they, the board, has been slowly amassing for years. They keep wanting more magnet schools and more technology they're spending is from some fantasy funding they don't have. Yeah, we have lottery funds but it can only be spent on building and scholarships.
Here is a radical idea, it requires a constitutional amendment but it is so worth it. How about we take the lottery building funds and use it to pay teachers' (no administrators, only classroom teachers) salaries, to buy books and to repair our current schools instead of building new ones? You know, spend it responsibly. I know that is a foreign concept to most politicians but keeping a BALANCED budget is possible.
But just so Scales isn't disappointed, who else is for a nice, friendly game of throw the bums out. Let's get together for these next elections and wipe out the lot of them and start from scratch with individuals who actually give a shit.

Ex-letters

Girls, explain this to me. Why does one of yours like to pour salt in old wounds? My ex-fiance likes to shoot me an e-mail or facebook message every couple months, my question is why?

First off let me explain; we started dating in college, after 18 months I graduated and moved to Florida. We tried long-distance and it seemed to work for the 1.5 years I was in FL. We got engaged and started planning. I moved back to TN 2 months before her graduation. I was sick and tired of being lonely and was ready to be back. I spent my weekends in murfreesboro with her. 2 weeks after returning she starts acting real frumpy, being very down trodden. She soon dumps me. One of the biggest reasons I came back was for her. I missed her and thought she missed me. Not to mention her biggest concern about marriage (that she told me) was moving to FL and leaving her family. I was willing to give up a well paying job with a multi-national corporation in a beautiful city to make her happy. She just apparently was to 'scared' to admit she was having doubts. If she had said that a couple months sooner I wouldn't have been in a hurry to come back like I did. I think I would have eventually anyways, but I could have made better plans and saved myself a lot of frustration.

Anyways back to my point, why does she insist on keeping sending me messages. I tried at first to be friendly. Maybe she still needs some sort of closure or validation over a guilty conscience. But whatever the reason, she shoots me these messages asking all sorts of friendly questions. So I respond politely never even bringing up the past, trying to show no hard feelings (they are there but that is my issue to deal with not hers.) But each time I respond, this seemed to be enough and its quite again for another month or two.

What sort of schizo, hair-brained lunacy is this? Can she not make up her mind as to why she needs to keep in contact. We live 100 miles apart so its not likely to bump into one another, is this just her way of staying 'friends.' If so it sucks, friends carry on conversations not just send one sided messages every couple months. Please, please someone clue me in! I know my Y-chromosome makes it difficult to explain things to me but will someone, anyone, please try.

Update - today 3-5-09, I received a padded letter from my ex. Not an email, a first class package with my old fraternity letters & some pictures she took on her last visit to Chattanooga.

Dept. of Incompetents

Chattanooga's Police

What has happened to law enforcement? Gone are the days of Mayberry & respectable law enforcement, now we live in the era of corruption & greed. All it takes is turn on the news, when they aren't describing the proliferation of crime, to witness an extensive history of moral corruption in law enforcement. The endless debate of a few bad apples ruining the bunch is moot. When ever a so-called honest officer turns his back on his duty to protect a law breaker then he becomes one too. The officers who claim lack of respect is why they are edgy are blowing smoke. Attitude reflects leadership- as individuals in a position of authority it is your responsibility to EARN the trust of the public by enforcing all laws equally and justly. I purposefully failed to say fairly because 'fair' is to subjective of a term.
Now if you are one of the truly honest officers then let me say thank you. You might annoy me sometimes but that in no way lessens my respect for the work you do. To the rest of you, if you decide toharass me make sure you in no way violate my rights. Because I know what they are & I have no problem standing up for them, even in court if necessary.

Have you completed your DDF's?

What are DDF's you ask? Daily Dick Flexes... No kidding, think of it as kagels ?sp? for dudes. The theory is that by 'flexing' the muscles in your penis, just like any muscle will increase blood flow, and just as muscles are stressed during exercise and then repair themselves to become stronger. By applying the same theory to the love muscle your are supposed to experience longer lasting erections, as well as be able to train yourself to 'release' on command. There is supposedly growth as well but I think that is just wishful thinking on the part of the guys who came up with this. But since the theory is sound, the penis is just one big muscle after all, it might be worth a shot.
All you are supposed to do, while sitting and standing (different muscles are engaged based on posture), is flex/contract/whatever & release the muscles in the area at a slow, steady pace. Contract for 5 seconds, release for 5 seconds, is one rep. 25 reps, 2-3 times a day.
What will scientists decide to research next, better asshole control to prevent passing gas in public?